i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
