Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
