If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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