hotel room ftw
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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