You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
