just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
