I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
