My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
not ubering you a puppy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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