I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
