just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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