i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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