I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
