its not stalking. its research.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
