What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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