i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
