chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
