She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
