I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just puked most of my soul out..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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