I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize