We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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