I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
