Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
