One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
