she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
