it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She bit a glass in half.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
