I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
