I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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