Grow some girl-balls and come out already
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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