Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
