i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
