erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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