The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize