Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
