I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
