but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can text with my tongue
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
