Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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