**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He felt like a one man threesome
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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