Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
