We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
