I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
