shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
