Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize