Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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