so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
