There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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