yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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