The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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