Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
