Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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