just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
