Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
