Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
