yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize