i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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