No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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