I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
