My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
