i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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