And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize