How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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