just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
