I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
