why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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