it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
