the condom got lost in my hair
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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