Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
there is glitter all over my balls
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