dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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