ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize