Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
