I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
