He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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