your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
